all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Randomize
