Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
