Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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