...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
