ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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