at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
