Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
