Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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