"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
