They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
