I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize