A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
