I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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