I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
