Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
