Where is the hickey?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize