Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
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Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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