I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
All I want is dick and wine.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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