Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I had to cum in my sink.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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