Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize