I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
