Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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