I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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