I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
