you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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