Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
