I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
pray to the hookup gods
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize