why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I love you. Go after that dick
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
