Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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