You can't special order awesome
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
