Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
