We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
