i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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