I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
