He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
