didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
