I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
