Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
