they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
