Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
