hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
