If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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