Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
