dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
