The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??