ADVERTISEMENT

• (863): View more from Florida

  just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud

  Fav 11 5240 1150

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"

  (571): View more from Virginia

  you make me proud to be your friend

  Fav 65 5048 926

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again

  Fav 11 4430 962

  share tweet
  

• (302): View more from Delaware

  This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.

  Fav 8 3329 1851

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.

  Fav 3 2615 887

  share tweet
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  That would warm my breasts.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.

  Fav 8 1416 682

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (219): View more from Indiana

  I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now

  Fav 5 1181 918

  share tweet
  

• (361): View more from Texas

  do you know where my other puke covered boot is

  Fav 1 600 1063

  share tweet
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.

  Fav 2 957 453

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help

  Fav 5 1046 615

  share tweet
  

• (415): View more from California

  LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.

  Fav 10 627 2410

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (707): View more from California

  According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.

  (253): View more from Washington

  You called the wrong number but I salute you.

  Fav 4 1723 632

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus

  Fav 0 782 454

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.

  Fav 0 546 349

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (518): View more from New York

  Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????

  Fav 0 252 137

  share tweet
  

Randomize