Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
