Pappa wants mamma naked
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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