just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."