You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?