So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now