Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.

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(404): View more from Georgia

She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?

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(716): View more from New York

Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.

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(207): View more from Maine

Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...

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(212): View more from New York

I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.

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(847): View more from Illinois

How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.

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