I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize