Got a toothbrush?
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize