You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
