well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I need to stop coming to work sober
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
