So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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