i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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