yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
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Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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