I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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