so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
