he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
