I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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