I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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