Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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