Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize