You insisted on take shots off of plates.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
