just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
