How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
3pm strippers are depressing
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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