Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What a dumb baby whore.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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