Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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